11. Alienated - Part Two

*Thanku so much for all the comments on chapter ten! ^_^ I hope this is ok for everyone, also I won't be posting after today and tomorrow until the 24th of November onwards. I have exams but as soon as they're done I'll be back :)) OH and @Rayebaby92TM has changed her blog name and posted about a new idea for her blog, which can I just say is an amazing idea! This is gonna be so good, I can't wait! Anyway here is the new link to her blog >> http://rayebaby92tm.blogspot.com.au/ ^__^*

Finishing his phone call Safaree tossed his cell over to the passenger seat before pulling back out on to the road. There was so much on his mind, the wedding, Stefani but most of all Nicki. He couldn't shake those feelings he had for her. He never could and never would. Admittedly yes, he'd made a mistake leaving her all those years ago but now he'd come to his senses and she was older. But the biggest fear plaguing his mind now was the fact that it might be too late. Drowning in his thoughts he drove mindlessly for hours to the address he hoped still belonged to who he was looking for. After parking and jumping out of the car he made his way to the front door, knocking nervously. He hoped this would work out. There were two distinct ways this could go, Nicki would be taken off the streets and kept safe or she'd deny any kind of help and hate him even more. Honestly he had a feeling that either way she would end up hating for him for interfering but she just couldn't see that he was trying to help her. Perhaps it was because the only people who had ever been there for her were now gone. She was alone. Suddenly seeing a light flick on he stepped back a little ready for whoever would open the door. It was him.

"SB?" He squinted as he stood in just his pants that had obviously just been thrown on. After all it was late and by the look of his face he figured he'd been asleep.

"Yeah, I hope I ain't botherin' you."

"No, no come in." He looked shocked to see him but opened the door wider nonetheless. "What's got you out here so damn late?" He glanced at his watch and shut the door before guiding them through to kitchen.

"Actually it's about Nicki." Folding his lips he followed Jelani's lead and took a seat at the table.

"Oh." There was silence as he looked down for a minute. "Y'know, had circumstances been different I would never have left her. How is she?" He sounded regretful and sad, which made Safaree feel even worse about what he had to tell him.

***

"How the hell is he about to run off outta here and leave me? Again?" Pacing the lounge room Stefani was giving one of her rage-filled outbursts to Mama Samuels.

"He'll be back soon."

"That's not my point though! Why does he do it?" She shook her head and tightened her robe before sucking her teeth. "I'm goin' over to Tyler's. He's been gone for hours! He should be home." Snatching the door open she made sure to stomp her feet down on every step before slamming the bedroom door behind her. She had just about had it with him constantly going out every night and not coming home until the early hours. Dressing herself and throwing her hair up she grabbed her purse and keys, marching out the front door and leaving Safaree's Mother in silence. She knew her son wasn't fully committed to this relationship, she just wished he would open his own eyes and notice before she had to tell him.

***

Speaking every hour or so Jelani and Safaree had been driving around separately whilst scanning the roadsides for Nicki. They knew she might be anywhere but they could only try. Unconsciously answering his phone, he agreed to meet Jelani in a parking lot near by. Neither of them had any luck, she was still nowhere to be found.

"Well, where was the very last place you seen her?"

"I already checked there." He smoothed his hands over his face and sighed. "This is hopeless. She could be anywhere."

"We both left her once before, we ain't doin' it again." The look in Jelani's eye gave Safaree a new hope that with both of their determined minds they'd find her soon. Perhaps not tonight but definitely soon.

"Do you think things woulda been much different if neither of us had left?"

"Honestly SB? Ion know. But I have a feelin' none of this would be happenin' if we'd stayed." Sighing aloud he moved from leaning on his car and opened the door, just standing for a while. "I'm gonna go stay with a friend for the night, we'll keep lookin' tomorrow." It wasn't a question and Safaree knew it.

"Aight."

Going their separate ways SB drove home in utter silence. His eyes, heart and mind were all looking for her automatically the whole drive home. Just to make matters worse he knew he was going to have to deal with Stefani as soon as he walked through the door. He couldn't have been any more right.

"The fuck have you been?!" Unleashing an all out hitting attack on him she continued to spit venom as he took each of her blows to his back. As she slowed down with her punches and slaps the anger turned into tears before she slumped to the bottom step of the stairs crying. He felt guilty that he was just kind of stringing her along. He loved her with all his heart and that was no word of a lie but she didn't have the same effect on him as Nicki. He wanted to see if things with them would go anywhere before he broke it off completely with Stef.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah I know. You tell me every night." She wiped her tears with the sleeves of her robe and stood up again. "Not that it matters or anythin' but I had some real important news to tell you today." She folded her arms across herself and blinked away some more tears. He knew what it was already, she'd been debating about where to have the wedding for months and he'd seen a venue circled in her diary. But when she opened her mouth he almost choked on a response. "I'm pregnant. But y'know? Whatever right?" She shook her head and began back up the stairs as he struggled to make any words leave his mouth.

"Stef-"

"No, I don't want to hear it Safaree. I'm tired of bein' the only one who tries in this relationship. It's exhausting." She went to move again but stopped, suddenly remembering something. "Oh and I saw that little friend of yours, Nicole or whatever her name was. She's a freaking prostitute Safaree, bet you didn't know that." She scoffed and continued on up the stairs leaving him doubly dumbfounded. Nothing was processing in his mind, it was completely blank. How the hell did he get in such a state? Lowering himself on to the leather couch he lay his head back and just thought for hours. Before he even realised it was 6am and his Mother was pottering about in the kitchen, she had no idea he was still up and almost had a heart attack when she entered the living room and saw him sat in silence.

"Oh goodness!" Holding on to the arm chair she regained her breath as he apologised. "What are you doin' up so early? Have you even been to bed?" She'd caught sight of the exhaustion on his face whilst he shook his head no.

"I can't sleep. That, and there's no way Stef was lettin' me sleep in the same room as her."

"What now?"

"A freakin' bombshell. That's what."

"Talk to me Safaree, what's happened?"

He didn't hesitate for a second, he needed to get a lot off of his chest and here his Mom was offering to listen. He told her everything, from his infidelity to Nicki's situation and the news Stefani just dumped on him only hours ago. Now it was silent as he waited for her to speak.

"Wow." She didn't look at him as she clutched at her coffee mug. "You're not ready for this wedding are you?" Even though she was his Mother it still never ceased to amaze him the way she sometimes knew him better than himself. He sighed, and with that one exhalation of air he silently gave his answer. "You need to talk to her, before it's too late. It's bad enough that you've left it this long."

"I know."

"And as for Nicki, I really hope you find her and get her back on the right track." She smiled sweetly before patting the back of his hand as it rested habitually on his knee. "You made a mistake leavin' her in the first place." And with that she stood up and left. She knew what she was doing, a master-mind at making him think. Which is exactly what he did after she left. Everything she'd said along with his own thoughts and feelings all merged together and ticked over in his mind. He'd got his shit together, now he just needed to put it all into action. Starting with Stefani. Heading up the stairs after breakfast he knocked hesitantly before entering. She'd just got out of the shower and didn't even acknowledge him as he walked in.

"Stef, we need to talk."

"Oh really? 'Bout what?" Stepping out of her towel angrily she threw her underwear on and turned to look at him.

"You know what, so don't act."

"Wait, you mean me bein' pregnant or the fact that we're in a relationship which you seemed to have checked out of months ago?!"

"Stop screamin' at me for five fucking seconds and listen." She stopped instantly, only just catching herself. She was always yelling, never letting him get a word in edgeways. "This isn't workin', and honestly Ion think it ever will." He sat down defeatedly on the bed and waited for her to react but instead he looked up to see her crying, not yelling or shouting but just crying. "I'm not sayin' that I'm gonna completely walk outta your life, I still wanna be there for you and the baby-"

"Fuck the baby Safaree! There IS no baby, I was fuckin' lying!" Resting her head shakily in her hands she let the tears get the better of her.

"What?"

"I said-"

"No, I know what you said! I just can't believe you'd do somethin' so fucking low!"

"Me?! Oh my God! Wait, so you think you ain't in the wrong here?! I told you I was pregnant 'cause I thought you wouldn't leave! How fucking wrong was I?!" No longer caring for where this conversation was going she pulled her clothes on and proceeded to pull out her cases, shoving her clothes in carelessly. Deep down she knew he wasn't committed, he never had been. Especially not since they came back to New York. Not since he'd been back in touch with Nicki.

Their arguing and yelling continued for well over two hours and ended accordingly. She left him. Taking everything with her she loaded her own car up and took off, not even glancing back. That's when it hit him how much he'd hurt her. He'd acted so ruthlessly with her feelings and quite honestly he felt awful. It's what he wanted but definitely not how he'd imagined.

***

Forking out just enough change Nicki managed to get herself a bagel from a food stand. She was hurting, in more ways than one. The bruises, cuts and scratches were one thing but the pain she was feeling inside was worse. She did have money the previous night but after being mugged she'd lost the last of what she had. Now she was just left with the clothes on her back. She hated how stubborn she was but she wasn't doing this to be stubborn little Onika. But to prevent her presence from damaging anyone else's life. There was something heavy hanging over her and it wouldn't go away, constantly following her like a dark cloud. Months of repressing her grief for the loss of her best friend and seeing Drake being put away was finally taking its toll on her. That and the injuries she'd sustained along with not looking after herself properly. Everything was spinning and she couldn't tell if it was really happening or if it was just her mind but coming down hard on to the concrete sidewalk she knew it was real before everything slowly faded out of vision.

*BAM! This may not be very good but I feel like I'm BACK! And honestly Barbz, don't laugh, but I have to thank Celine Dion for that! LOL Anyways I hope this was ok I know Nic was hardly in it....Actually she wasn't in it 'til the end o-O  Thanku for all the comments on the last chapter ^-^*