13. A Clean Slate (Full Chapter)

*Sorry about the cliffhanger :3 Here's the rest, thanku for all the comments you left on the sneak peek! hope this is okay ^_^*

"What about hospitals? Have you checked an of those yet?" Mama Samuels smiled hopefully as she handed Safaree and Jelani a drink each.

"That's a good idea actually, gimme a sec." His eyes were wide with realisation that they hadn't even thought of that yet. Carefully standing he took his drink with him into the corridor as he called around.

"You'll find her soon, I just know it." She gave SB a rub on his forearm before disappearing back into the kitchen. He hoped she was right, who know what kind of trouble she could have got into. Jelani was only gone a matter of minutes before he returned with a newfound grace of relief about him causing Safaree to perk up a little. They hadn't slept for all the searching they did the previous night.

"Any news?"

"Queens Hospital Center, all they got is her name." He was hurriedly throwing his shoes on as he spoke whilst Safaree stood up quickly and skulled his drink.

"They say what she was in for?"

"Nah, just that they had someone with that name. We gotta ask at reception and they gonna give us the floor and room number." Quickly following his lead Jelani finished his drink as Safaree let his Mother know that they were heading out.

They were there in no time, slamming their doors shut before rushing inside. It was pretty busy but they managed to push through the endless queues off people and to the front desk.

"We're lookin' for Onika Maraj? I called earlier, you said she was here." His mouth was dry with worry as the female worker entered her details into the computer. Safaree was standing to the side of him with a similar look of concern on his face.

"She's in room 306, which is on the third floor. If you take the elevator you wanna take a right and keep going. You'll see it." She carried on chewing her gum as she pointed towards the elevators. They didn't take a second to think before thanking her and heading straight to her room. Wondering what to expect when they opened her door.

Before Jelani got chance to push down on the handle he was stopped by Safaree.

"Dude, look at the ward name." His voice was low as Jelani did as he said. His mouth instantly went dry.

"Obstetrics and Gynaecology." He read it aloud and looked back at SB's face before they entered. Slowly pushing the door open they both walked in silently, it was definitely her although it was a task trying to recognise her as she lay cushioned by pillows, sleeping comfortably on her side.

"Oh my God Nicki." Safaree watched Jelani's reaction as he smoothed his hand over his mouth. His words came out as a whisper, probably due to the shock of seeing her in such a state. "The hell happened to you?" Sitting himself on a chair near her bedside he leant forward and watched her for a while. She looked like a shell of the person she used to be. SB was about to start talking when they heard the door open as a robust looking nurse entered.

"Excuse me? Can I help you?" It wasn't a nice question she was asking but more of a request as to why they were there.

"This is my sister, we were told we could come up."

"And you?" Her attention turned back to Safaree since she was satisfied with Jelani's response.

"I'm a close friend."

"Well visitin' hours are almost up and I have to change Onika's dressin' now so I'mma have to ask y'all to leave."

"Wait, please. We don't even know what's wrong with her. Is she okay?"

Her face and tone softened considerably as she sanitised her hands after closing the door quietly. "She was admitted about two days ago with nothin' on her but a few coins. We're just lucky she woke and was able to tell us her name."

"Well what's wrong with her?" Safaree moved in closer to be involved with the conversation as the Nurse began to check over Nicki.

"She said she was mugged and that's why she assumed she was in hospital but she was dehydrated and suffering exhaustion-"

"So why is she on this ward?"

"Sorry sir, what was your name again?"

"Jelani."

"Okay Jelani, I need you to know that your sister is goin' to be absolutely fine. We moved her to this ward once we found out she was pregnant-"

"Oh my God." His hands repeated the earlier movement as they ran down his face. "And you know for sure? That she's pregnant?" With their eyes locked on to her she felt the uncomfortable feeling coming as she readied herself to talk, this time more sympathetically.

"Onika lost the baby yesterday. She miscarried." There was a faint gushing sound as he exhaled and his head dropped. "We put it down to foetal distress consistent with her current state of health, I'm so sorry." She could tell that there was a fraction of relief in their faces but mostly worry, concern and sadness. Honestly she felt really bad for them having to find out all of this at once. "Look, I'mma let y'all stay a little longer if you want. But you have to stay quiet and leave the room whilst I change her dressing. I'll call you back through when I'm done, she'll be awake by then too." She saw them both look at one another before they thanked her and left the room, still in shock.

"I can't believe all this."

"I know it's prolly a lot to take in as a brother but at least we found her and she's safe. All we gotta do now is get her home." Safaree spoke encouragingly and rested a spread out palm on Jelani's shoulder.

"Thanks man." He was silent again only for a few minutes. "Like she hadn't already been through enough, now this."

"It's cruel is what it is. But it's happened, we just gotta be there for her. No matter what."

***

It had been around twenty minutes before they both stood again seeing the Nurse exiting her room and making her way over to them, they met her halfway.

"Alright, I'm all done for now but I'll be comin' in to check on her every so often and later on this evenin' we've got a specialist callin' in to assess her."

"Assess her? For what?"

"Look, Safaree is it?" He nodded in response. "Safaree, you need to understand that these last few weeks have not been easy for her and now with all of this to cope with too I just think it would benefit her to be looked at by a psychologist. A lot of times with distressing or traumatic experiences such as the ones Onika's been through can lead to more illness." She made sure to keep looking at the both of them as she talked, every word she spoke they were absorbing.

"You mean depression?"

"It's a possibility, a high one at that. But that's why Dr Mullholland is going to come and see her. For now though, she's awake and waiting. I told her you were here." She smiled sweetly and urged them to go in before leaving. Truthfully Safaree was half expecting her to start throwing a fit and screaming as soon as she lay eyes on him but it was in fact quite the opposite. They entered nervously, not knowing how she was going to behave but both rushed to her side seeing her already in floods of tears.

"Oh my God." Her cries were muffled in Jelani's shirt as he embraced her instantly.

"Hey, it's okay. We're here now." Looking on at the siblings he waited out the silence hearing only her random intake of air as she continued to cry. Slowly pulling away Jelani let her sink back into the pillows as she wiped her face.

"How did you find me?"

"Actually, if it wasn't for SB we wouldn't have." Safaree looked at him hearing his name and then back to Nicki as she slowly turned to face his way.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me Nic, I woulda carried on searchin' 'til the end for you."

They sat and talked for ages, understandably she was in tears for the most part as she told them what happened and how she was feeling. It felt good to be venting everything since the last few weeks it had all been cooped up inside her with nobody to talk to. The hardest part for Jelani was trying to understand what kind of pressure she was under that was so bad she had to turn to prostitution at nineteen. And the one thing still plaguing Safaree's mind was the baby. What if it had been his? That'd be their second child had they both made it into the world.

"Lara told me that you know."

"About the baby?" Jelani took her small hand in his as he spoke.

"Yeah." She looked down, feeling Safaree's gaze on her before his voice made her look back at him.

"Did you know who the Father was?" She only shook her head no in response. There was a short silence before Lara opened the door.

"Everythin' okay in here?" She received a nod and a smile from Jelani as she pulled out Nicki's chart.

"When can I be discharged?"

"Actually I can probably sort out out some discharge forms for you now if you want and as soon as Dr Mullholland has seen to you I'ont see why you can't leave tonight. That sound okay?" They all nodded as Nicki sighed out of relief and lay back into the pillows some more.

"Look Nic, me and SB was talkin' out there. We think it'd be best if you went to live with him for a while. I'm so far away and with the kids and Kyla it'd just be too stressful for you to move in with all that." He kept eye contact with her tired face before she broke the connection and looked at Safaree. For a moment he thought she was going to refuse and dig her heels into the ground but she didn't.

"And that's okay with your Mom and Stef? What about when you move back home after the weddin'?"

"Stef left me." He looked down briefly before adjusting his hat.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She started playing awkwardly with the hospital tag on her wrist.

"Don't be. Lookin' back I have no idea what the hell I was thinkin'." He laughed a little only just seeing how dumb he'd been. "I got my own place in New York now so you can stay with me as long as you want and need."

"You sure?" She squinted a little. "It'll only be temporary and as soon-"

"Nicki." She stopped talking instantly and looked up at him. "It's fine, like I said you can stay as long as you need."

"Thanks." Giving him a small smile he returned the sweet gesture as Jelani took that moment to go and get them something to drink, giving them some time alone. They were both shocked at how well she was holding herself together given the fact that she'd lost another baby but it had completely torn her to pieces on the inside, another gaping hole to go with the three others already pierced through her fragile heart.

...

*I know it's short but I'm working on trying to make my chapters longer! I always struggle with trying to keep it flowing when I do long chapters. Anyway I hope this was okay for you all, thanku for all the comments on the previous post! ^_^ *

12. A Clean Slate *Sneak Peek*

*Thanku for all the comments last chapter, hope this sneak peek is alright! :))*

"What about hospitals? Have you checked an of those yet?" Mama Samuels smiled hopefully as she handed Safaree and Jelani a drink each.

"That's a good idea actually, gimme a sec." His eyes were wide with realisation that they hadn't even thought of that yet. Carefully standing he took his drink with him into the corridor as he called around.

"You'll find her soon, I just know it." She gave SB a rub on his forearm before disappearing back into the kitchen. He hoped she was right, who know what kind of trouble she could have got into. Jelani was only gone a matter of minutes before he returned with a newfound grace of relief about him causing Safaree to perk up a little. They hadn't slept for all the searching they did the previous night.

"Any news?"

"Queens Hospital Center, all they got is her name." He was hurriedly throwing his shoes on as he spoke whilst Safaree stood up quickly and skulled his drink.

"They say what she was in for?"

"Nah, just that they had someone with that name. We gotta ask at reception and they gonna give us the floor and room number." Quickly following his lead Jelani finished his drink as Safaree let his Mother know that they were heading out.

They were there in no time, slamming their doors shut before rushing inside. It was pretty busy but they managed to push through the endless queues off people and to the front desk.

"We're lookin' for Onika Maraj? I called earlier, you said she was here." His mouth was dry with worry as the female worker entered her details into the computer. Safaree was standing to the side of him with a similar look of concern on his face.

"She's in room 306, which is on the third floor. If you take the elevator you wanna take a right and keep going. You'll see it." She carried on chewing her gum as she pointed towards the elevators. They didn't take a second to think before thanking her and heading straight to her room. Wondering what to expect when they opened her door.

...

11. Alienated - Part Two

*Thanku so much for all the comments on chapter ten! ^_^ I hope this is ok for everyone, also I won't be posting after today and tomorrow until the 24th of November onwards. I have exams but as soon as they're done I'll be back :)) OH and @Rayebaby92TM has changed her blog name and posted about a new idea for her blog, which can I just say is an amazing idea! This is gonna be so good, I can't wait! Anyway here is the new link to her blog >> http://rayebaby92tm.blogspot.com.au/ ^__^*

Finishing his phone call Safaree tossed his cell over to the passenger seat before pulling back out on to the road. There was so much on his mind, the wedding, Stefani but most of all Nicki. He couldn't shake those feelings he had for her. He never could and never would. Admittedly yes, he'd made a mistake leaving her all those years ago but now he'd come to his senses and she was older. But the biggest fear plaguing his mind now was the fact that it might be too late. Drowning in his thoughts he drove mindlessly for hours to the address he hoped still belonged to who he was looking for. After parking and jumping out of the car he made his way to the front door, knocking nervously. He hoped this would work out. There were two distinct ways this could go, Nicki would be taken off the streets and kept safe or she'd deny any kind of help and hate him even more. Honestly he had a feeling that either way she would end up hating for him for interfering but she just couldn't see that he was trying to help her. Perhaps it was because the only people who had ever been there for her were now gone. She was alone. Suddenly seeing a light flick on he stepped back a little ready for whoever would open the door. It was him.

"SB?" He squinted as he stood in just his pants that had obviously just been thrown on. After all it was late and by the look of his face he figured he'd been asleep.

"Yeah, I hope I ain't botherin' you."

"No, no come in." He looked shocked to see him but opened the door wider nonetheless. "What's got you out here so damn late?" He glanced at his watch and shut the door before guiding them through to kitchen.

"Actually it's about Nicki." Folding his lips he followed Jelani's lead and took a seat at the table.

"Oh." There was silence as he looked down for a minute. "Y'know, had circumstances been different I would never have left her. How is she?" He sounded regretful and sad, which made Safaree feel even worse about what he had to tell him.

***

"How the hell is he about to run off outta here and leave me? Again?" Pacing the lounge room Stefani was giving one of her rage-filled outbursts to Mama Samuels.

"He'll be back soon."

"That's not my point though! Why does he do it?" She shook her head and tightened her robe before sucking her teeth. "I'm goin' over to Tyler's. He's been gone for hours! He should be home." Snatching the door open she made sure to stomp her feet down on every step before slamming the bedroom door behind her. She had just about had it with him constantly going out every night and not coming home until the early hours. Dressing herself and throwing her hair up she grabbed her purse and keys, marching out the front door and leaving Safaree's Mother in silence. She knew her son wasn't fully committed to this relationship, she just wished he would open his own eyes and notice before she had to tell him.

***

Speaking every hour or so Jelani and Safaree had been driving around separately whilst scanning the roadsides for Nicki. They knew she might be anywhere but they could only try. Unconsciously answering his phone, he agreed to meet Jelani in a parking lot near by. Neither of them had any luck, she was still nowhere to be found.

"Well, where was the very last place you seen her?"

"I already checked there." He smoothed his hands over his face and sighed. "This is hopeless. She could be anywhere."

"We both left her once before, we ain't doin' it again." The look in Jelani's eye gave Safaree a new hope that with both of their determined minds they'd find her soon. Perhaps not tonight but definitely soon.

"Do you think things woulda been much different if neither of us had left?"

"Honestly SB? Ion know. But I have a feelin' none of this would be happenin' if we'd stayed." Sighing aloud he moved from leaning on his car and opened the door, just standing for a while. "I'm gonna go stay with a friend for the night, we'll keep lookin' tomorrow." It wasn't a question and Safaree knew it.

"Aight."

Going their separate ways SB drove home in utter silence. His eyes, heart and mind were all looking for her automatically the whole drive home. Just to make matters worse he knew he was going to have to deal with Stefani as soon as he walked through the door. He couldn't have been any more right.

"The fuck have you been?!" Unleashing an all out hitting attack on him she continued to spit venom as he took each of her blows to his back. As she slowed down with her punches and slaps the anger turned into tears before she slumped to the bottom step of the stairs crying. He felt guilty that he was just kind of stringing her along. He loved her with all his heart and that was no word of a lie but she didn't have the same effect on him as Nicki. He wanted to see if things with them would go anywhere before he broke it off completely with Stef.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah I know. You tell me every night." She wiped her tears with the sleeves of her robe and stood up again. "Not that it matters or anythin' but I had some real important news to tell you today." She folded her arms across herself and blinked away some more tears. He knew what it was already, she'd been debating about where to have the wedding for months and he'd seen a venue circled in her diary. But when she opened her mouth he almost choked on a response. "I'm pregnant. But y'know? Whatever right?" She shook her head and began back up the stairs as he struggled to make any words leave his mouth.

"Stef-"

"No, I don't want to hear it Safaree. I'm tired of bein' the only one who tries in this relationship. It's exhausting." She went to move again but stopped, suddenly remembering something. "Oh and I saw that little friend of yours, Nicole or whatever her name was. She's a freaking prostitute Safaree, bet you didn't know that." She scoffed and continued on up the stairs leaving him doubly dumbfounded. Nothing was processing in his mind, it was completely blank. How the hell did he get in such a state? Lowering himself on to the leather couch he lay his head back and just thought for hours. Before he even realised it was 6am and his Mother was pottering about in the kitchen, she had no idea he was still up and almost had a heart attack when she entered the living room and saw him sat in silence.

"Oh goodness!" Holding on to the arm chair she regained her breath as he apologised. "What are you doin' up so early? Have you even been to bed?" She'd caught sight of the exhaustion on his face whilst he shook his head no.

"I can't sleep. That, and there's no way Stef was lettin' me sleep in the same room as her."

"What now?"

"A freakin' bombshell. That's what."

"Talk to me Safaree, what's happened?"

He didn't hesitate for a second, he needed to get a lot off of his chest and here his Mom was offering to listen. He told her everything, from his infidelity to Nicki's situation and the news Stefani just dumped on him only hours ago. Now it was silent as he waited for her to speak.

"Wow." She didn't look at him as she clutched at her coffee mug. "You're not ready for this wedding are you?" Even though she was his Mother it still never ceased to amaze him the way she sometimes knew him better than himself. He sighed, and with that one exhalation of air he silently gave his answer. "You need to talk to her, before it's too late. It's bad enough that you've left it this long."

"I know."

"And as for Nicki, I really hope you find her and get her back on the right track." She smiled sweetly before patting the back of his hand as it rested habitually on his knee. "You made a mistake leavin' her in the first place." And with that she stood up and left. She knew what she was doing, a master-mind at making him think. Which is exactly what he did after she left. Everything she'd said along with his own thoughts and feelings all merged together and ticked over in his mind. He'd got his shit together, now he just needed to put it all into action. Starting with Stefani. Heading up the stairs after breakfast he knocked hesitantly before entering. She'd just got out of the shower and didn't even acknowledge him as he walked in.

"Stef, we need to talk."

"Oh really? 'Bout what?" Stepping out of her towel angrily she threw her underwear on and turned to look at him.

"You know what, so don't act."

"Wait, you mean me bein' pregnant or the fact that we're in a relationship which you seemed to have checked out of months ago?!"

"Stop screamin' at me for five fucking seconds and listen." She stopped instantly, only just catching herself. She was always yelling, never letting him get a word in edgeways. "This isn't workin', and honestly Ion think it ever will." He sat down defeatedly on the bed and waited for her to react but instead he looked up to see her crying, not yelling or shouting but just crying. "I'm not sayin' that I'm gonna completely walk outta your life, I still wanna be there for you and the baby-"

"Fuck the baby Safaree! There IS no baby, I was fuckin' lying!" Resting her head shakily in her hands she let the tears get the better of her.

"What?"

"I said-"

"No, I know what you said! I just can't believe you'd do somethin' so fucking low!"

"Me?! Oh my God! Wait, so you think you ain't in the wrong here?! I told you I was pregnant 'cause I thought you wouldn't leave! How fucking wrong was I?!" No longer caring for where this conversation was going she pulled her clothes on and proceeded to pull out her cases, shoving her clothes in carelessly. Deep down she knew he wasn't committed, he never had been. Especially not since they came back to New York. Not since he'd been back in touch with Nicki.

Their arguing and yelling continued for well over two hours and ended accordingly. She left him. Taking everything with her she loaded her own car up and took off, not even glancing back. That's when it hit him how much he'd hurt her. He'd acted so ruthlessly with her feelings and quite honestly he felt awful. It's what he wanted but definitely not how he'd imagined.

***

Forking out just enough change Nicki managed to get herself a bagel from a food stand. She was hurting, in more ways than one. The bruises, cuts and scratches were one thing but the pain she was feeling inside was worse. She did have money the previous night but after being mugged she'd lost the last of what she had. Now she was just left with the clothes on her back. She hated how stubborn she was but she wasn't doing this to be stubborn little Onika. But to prevent her presence from damaging anyone else's life. There was something heavy hanging over her and it wouldn't go away, constantly following her like a dark cloud. Months of repressing her grief for the loss of her best friend and seeing Drake being put away was finally taking its toll on her. That and the injuries she'd sustained along with not looking after herself properly. Everything was spinning and she couldn't tell if it was really happening or if it was just her mind but coming down hard on to the concrete sidewalk she knew it was real before everything slowly faded out of vision.

*BAM! This may not be very good but I feel like I'm BACK! And honestly Barbz, don't laugh, but I have to thank Celine Dion for that! LOL Anyways I hope this was ok I know Nic was hardly in it....Actually she wasn't in it 'til the end o-O  Thanku for all the comments on the last chapter ^-^*

10. Alienated - Part One

*Kay, I know I didn't post on the day I said but I've been kinda busy and goin through some stupid shit right now....And I've been a lil' bit bad too ._. But I won't get into that right now. Anyways, this chapter doesn't really go too much into law stuff cuz I know nothing about American law...Hell, I don't even know anything about Australian law and I study it XD anyways sorry for the delay and I hope this is ok :/*

Nicki lay awake for what seemed like ages, how the hell was she supposed to sleep? He'd been gone for almost an hour, he said he would be back. Throwing the covers off of herself she let her feet hit the tacky carpet of the motel room as she went over to the window. His car was still gone.

"Shit Drake, where the hell are you?" She pulled her hand up to her mouth and chewed nervously on her thumb as she shut the curtain again. Luckily Jacob was still sleeping quietly, what was going to happen to him if they got caught? And her, she had nothing to do with this. Trying to shake the thoughts from her mind she sat back on the edge of the bed and waited out the silence.

***

"So the girl, Onika, she had nothin' to do with this?"

"No sir, not that I know of and Ion see why he would have any reason to lie to me. He said that he'd taken her and this kid to a motel."

"Mmkay, do you remember the name of the motel?"

"It's on tape, I was wearin' a wire." He retorted with attitude.

"Just tell us the name of the motel."

A.J. did as he was asked and was taken away, since he'd co-operated he'd probably receive a lighter penalty but time would soon tell.

"Aight, go speak to that Samuels guy again, see if he's had any contact." They were on their way back out to the cars as they spoke.

"Yes sir, where you goin' though?"

"Imma head down to this motel, I'll meet you there."

Just like that everything was set into motion as the female officer headed back over to Safaree's and her partner did as he said and went to the motel.

After knocking on his door for a while she heard some yelling before an extremely pissed off Stefani answered, it was well past midnight at this point.

"Yes?" She crossed her arms over her chest waiting.

"May I come in ma'am?" There was an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds until Stefani pulled the door open and stormed upstairs causing Safaree to walk out of the kitchen in confusion. "Mr Samuels?"

"Oh, I didn't know you were here, is this 'bout Nicki? Do you know where she is?"

"My partner is headed over there now, we were just wondering if you had heard from her but I'm guessing not?"

Safaree's shoulders slumped as he led them back through to the lounge-room. "No I haven't spoken to her since she last called." Taking a seat he rubbed his hands over his face.

Before the officer could speak again Safaree's phone coincidentally sung out from his pant pocket. Swiftly pulling it out he looked at the caller ID.

"It's her." It was more of a statement than a way of saying Should I answer? Immediately answering he heard her frightened voice on the other end.

"Safaree?"

"Nicki? What's wrong?"

"Ion know, I can't get hold of Drake and I didn't know who else to call." He could tell she was crying but for some reason she was whispering too. As he listened the officer motioned for him to put her on loud speaker so he did.

"What's happened and why you whisperin'?"

"There's someone at the door but it isn't Drake, and they sound like they gonna freakin' break through it." She sniffed as she continued to whisper. "Please, Ion know what to do SB?" Honestly he had no idea what she wanted him to do as he looked at the officer, they both knew that it was her partner at Nicki's door.

"Tell her to open the door, we know she didn't have anything to do with all of this." Listening to her orders Safaree spoke up.

"Look Nic, the person at your door is a police officer, they lookin' for Drake 'kay? Not you, so if you open the door they gon' get you outta there."

"What?! No, I'm not 'bouta freaking drop him in it! If it wasn't for him I'd be dead, Jacob too probably." She was crying even more now after her hushed outburst. She was sat crouched next to Jacob on the bed as she watched the door intently. "Wait....How'd they know where we was at?"

"Ion know, some guy who helped Drake." He shook his head."But that's not the point, Nicki go answer the door. He murdered somebody." He put more emphasis on the word 'murdered'.

"You don't get it Safaree! He's the only person I have, the only reason I'm still alive right now." She got quieter and before he had chance to say anything else back he heard the female officer speaking angrily on her own phone, she was telling her partner that Drake wasn't in the room but Nicki and Jacob were so he should ease up on the knocking and yelling. "Safaree? Who the hell is that?"

"Nicki, that officer will break through the door if he has to so just open it." He heard silence for a moment.

"I asked you who that was?" By the way she spoke he knew that she knew. "Am I on speaker right now?" Just as he was about to answer she hung up on him.

"She hung up, I think she knows I was helpin' y'all."

"Don't feel bad about it, what you chose to do was the right thing. For everybody." Looking at him reassuringly she carried on speaking to her partner on the phone as Safaree sighed loudly and took a seat, what if he'd just made everything worse?

Back at the motel Nicki was beyond pissed, as if it wasn't enough that her best friend's life was hanging in the balance and now the only person she had in her life to rely on was going to be sent to prison for God know how long. Killing her spiralling thoughts she looked to the door as everything was silent, until she heard a car pull up. It was Drake.

***

Almost three months had passed and Nicki was still the same. She felt like her whole life had been blown to smithereens all over again and she'd lost everything, her best friend, her boyfriend, her job, her home. Everything. Safaree was still trying to prove himself as being there but she was done with trusting people, it got her nowhere so why should she bother? She didn't know if learning of Candi's death was worse or having to say goodbye to Jacob as social services took him. But one thing she was sure of was nothing hurt more than seeing Drake being put away, he was in there because of her and that thought was constantly eating at her. Driving her mad with guilt. Sitting in a store doorway she wiped a stray tear and after finally losing her temper with her constantly ringing phone she tossed it with all her might across the road and watched it shatter. Safaree had not stopped with the calls, everyday he'd try and reach her but she ignored it every time. It seemed as though every persons life she entered she damaged, she didn't want to do that to him. She cared about him too much. Slipping back into her thought she quickly stopped herself and stood up as she walked the dark streets.

***

Coming home from a stressful day shopping Stefani and Mama Samuels walked in looking exhausted.

"Ugh we finally got everything sorted! My dress, the bridesmaids dresses, everything." Flopping down on the couch next to Safaree she rested her head on his upper arm. "You kay babe? You've been really quiet this past week. You stressin' 'bout the weddin'?" Safaree looked down at his fiance's worried face.

"Yeah, I guess I am a lil' nervous. The biggest day of our lives right?"

"Mmm, don't worry it'll be fine. I know it." She rested her head back down as his smile faded again. Truthfully he wasn't even thinking about the wedding. It was the last thing on his mind, especially after last week when he figured his mind was playing tricks on him. He thought he'd seen Nicki on a street corner, it wasn't a good thing to see though. She was leaning into a pulled up car as she spoke to the driver and then walked around and hopped in the passenger seat before taking off. It made him feel instantly sick. As his mind continued to spin Stefani felt his body tense up. "Babe, you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine, promise." He mindlessly pecked her lips and stood up. "I gotta go see Tyler 'bout the whole best man thing but I'll be back 'bout nine." He kissed her again as she watched him suspiciously. Mama Samuels noticed and quickly interjected.

"Well, these wedding invitations aren't going to finish themselves." She got out of her chair and looked at her soon-to-be daughter-in-law. "Best get cracking." Smiling sweetly she led them through to the kitchen to table. Being his Mother she knew there was definitely something on her son's mind and whatever it was he would tell her when he was ready. But she had a feeling it would be something to do with Nicki. Neither herself or Stefani knew of Nicki's previous, and current, job description and since Drake had been locked up and junior was dead, obviously the business had shut down and left Nicki jobless. Doing the only thing she knew best she turned to street work, it sounded ridiculous but she felt like it was her only option.

As his thoughts carried on swirling in his mind he felt like every person he saw on the street was her, but it never was, apart from that time he really did see her. Ever since then he felt like he'd been looking for her, expecting her to be there. As he got closer to Tyler's house he had finally come to a decision, he just hoped it was the right one.

*I know it's MAD short and rushed, I'm sorry but I have had THE WORST case of writer's block! But I hope this was ok and thanku all SO MUCH for the comments left on the previous chapter! I'm so grateful!! Hopefully my next posts will be better when I have nothing on my mind or whatever. Anywhooslebees, what do you want updating next? I have a feeling it might be CM but I could be wrong!*

9. Gettin' Messy (Part Two of 'Gone') - Full Chapter

She continued to cling on to his big build as he walked them over to the bed, placing her down carefully so as not to wake a sleeping Jacob.

"You ok?" He held her shoulders firmly and looked between her face and Jacob's little body sprawled out under the sheets.

"Well, for everythin' that's happened I guess so." She looked down as he took a seat next to her, allowing their shoulders to rub against one another still. "Did you sort stuff out?"

"Yeah. We just gon' be here for one night, I promise." He took her hand in his and kissed her.

"Promise? 'Cause I need to see Candi. I wanna know she's ok." Her eyes trailed over Jacob's little frame. He needed his Mom more than anything.

"I promise. We're goin' back to your place first thing. I need to clean everythin' up." Rubbing his hands over his face he sighed and lay back gently. Following his movement she settled next to him, facing his body as she trailed her hands over his bruised face. They lay still for a few long minutes with her continuing her actions as he enjoyed the calm feeling she was giving him at that moment, but she quietly broke the silence after a while.

"Can I still not answer my calls? Safaree's been ringin' non stop." Her hand stayed resting gently on his face as he turned slowly to look at her, he looked drained, tired and empty.

"Mmm I guess it's alright...We have to act normal." She nodded in understanding and stood up to go get her phone, as she guessed he was ringing again. Persistent or what? Clicking to answer the call she held the phone to her ear, watching Drake move past her and shut the bathroom door behind him. The shower starting up made her feel more comfortable about talking.

"What do you want Safaree?" Hearing her tired, whisper made his heart relax in utter relief.

"The fuck Nicki?! Why you been ignorin' all my calls? I been ringin' you all day?" Pulling the phone away slightly she winced at the pounding headache she was experiencing.

"Can you please stop screamin'? Why you been callin' me like there's no tomorrow?"

"I been over here shittin' bricks! I went 'round to your place this mornin', nobody was there but you left your door open. There was blood everywhere, I thought that boss of yours had..." He trailed off and sighed loudly. "I thought you were dead." It didn't matter about what he was saying, in fact she wasn't even listening. Her heart was beating so fast she could hardly hear anything else. "Nicki? Nicki you still there?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah I'm...I'm still here." Chewing on her bottom lip nervously she readied herself to ask him a question. "So what's goin' on right now? Where you at?"

"I called the cops first, they all over your place...What the fuck even happened Nic? You alright?"

"Wait, there are cops? All over my apartment?" She started pacing as the panic began to kick in.

"Nic, the hell did you want me to do? Shrug it off? I thought you'd been killed, you understand how much I been worryin' 'bout you? Where are you? And who are you with?"

"No. You did the right thing....And yeah I'm fine, just a lil' overwhelmed right now." She paused shakily, urging herself to end the call. "I have to go, I'll call you later." She heard him yelling for her not to hang up but she had to. She continued to pace and chew at her fingers nervously waiting for Drake to finish showering.

Hearing her hang up quickly he snatched his phone away from his ear in anger. "Shit!"

"S'up babe?" Stef had just come through from the lounge room. Setting her empty bowl on the side she gently ran her hands up a troubled Safaree's chest.

"Nuffin'. Look, I needa head out for a minute I'll be-"

"No Safaree! We're supposed to be plannin' our wedding together! Y'know? As a couple!" With each emphasised word she slapped the back of her hand on to the palm of her other.

"And we will. Soon as I get back." He managed to shrug out of her grip after kissing her forehead and started moving out into the hallway. Her shrieking could be heard growing fainter the farther away he got. Before he had chance to reach for the handle there was a knock at the door. It was the police. Opening without hesitation he looked between the two officers' faces.

"Safaree Samuels?"

"Yeah, yeah that's me. Is this 'bout earlier?"

"Yes sir, you mind if we come in?" He shook his head no and allowed them to walk in. A confused Stef and Mama Samuels were stood watching worriedly. Giving them a quick nod to let them everything was ok he followed the officers through to the lounge room. All three of them took a seat as Stef and Safaree's Mom stood in the doorway intrigued.

"Mr Samuels, you say you saw Miss Maraj...the night before she disappeared yes?" The first officer asked as he flipped through some notes.

"Um, yeah I was over at her place the night before and then the next mornin' when I visited...Well Y'know the rest." He cringed suddenly remembering Stefani was in the room. He could feel her burning holes into the side of his face. Mama Samuels noticed thankfully and offered for the two of them to go make the officers a drink. Leaving Safaree alone with the them.

"You had any contact with her since? Know who she's with? Perhaps where she might be?" The female officer asked softly noticing his obviously worried posture.

"I been callin' her all day, never got an answer but she picked up on the last one-"

"How long ago was this?"

"Ten, fifteen minutes ago. She wouldn't tell me where she was and when I asked her who she was with she hung up." The two cops looked at one another.

"So she sounded alright to you?"

"Well, yeah I guess...She mentioned she was a lil' overwhelmed but thas it. Is there any way you can like, Ion know trace the call or somethin'?" He sat forward some more as he tried to think where she could be. He knew who she was probably with but had a gut feeling Drake would never harm her so didn't want to drop him in it. But if he was a murderer or whatever, surely he should say something.

"Aubrey Graham? You ever heard that name before?" The male officer took over as the woman started scribbling things down.

"Mmm, no Ion think so. Sorry." He wrinkled his brow in thought.

"What about the name Drake? She ever mention him?"

"Yeah, he's her boss or somethin'...I think he's her boyfriend too. Not too sure...Why? Do you think he has somethin' to do with it?" This was perfect, now they knew he was involved and he didn't have to snitch.

"Her boss?"

"Yes sir."

"Did she say anythin' else during your phone call?"

Safaree sighed and ran his hands over his face. "No she just said that she was fine and-" Before he could continue the female officer's phone rang out, swiftly answering as Mama Samuels and Stef returned with drinks. They all listened intently even though Stefani and his Mom had no clue what was going on.

"Mhm, yeah we're talkin' to him as we speak." She paused as the person on the end of the line talked. "Ok we'll head back now, thank you." Hanging up she looked between Safaree and her partner. "They have a guy who says he has some info 'bout the case. We gotta go back and interview him." At that point Safaree remembered Jacob, where was he at?

"Oh before you go, Nicki prolly has a kid with her." As they were halfway out of the front door they turned back to look at him questioningly. "He's not hers but he was there the night before so..." He trailed off and shrugged. They looked a little more worried now.

"How old is the child Mr Samuels?"

"'Bout two at a guess, he's her friend's son. His name is Jacob."

"Thank you so much for you help Mr Samuels, and for the drinks." The both nodded at the three of them before the female added. "We'll let you know of any progress. You're obviously very concerned. If she happens to make contact with you again try and get more answers out of her." He agreed and shut the door behind them. He knew he was going to have a lot of explaining to do now.

***

Nicki continued to twizzle the ends of her hair as she paced the floor. Drake was still in the bathroom, the shower had died down but he was taking a while to reappear. As soon as that thought crossed her mind the door opened slowly, letting all the warm steam flow out.

"Woah, you kay Nic? You look like you just seen a ghost?" Almost immediately his face dropped. Probably not the best thing to say right now. He made his way over to where she was stood chewing her lip.

"Aubrey I-"

"Shh, c'mere." Calmly pulling her into an embrace he felt so bad that all of this was creeping its way into her life too. He'd never seen her looking so vulnerable and sad. Even when she was sat in the bus shelter the night he first met her. "I promise everythin's gon' be fine. Trust me." He pulled her even closer, it felt so good to her just being enveloped in his arms. He was only wearing a towel around his waist and his torso was still covered in beads of water.

"No it's not though!" Moving away from him the tears were clearly visible as she brought her hands up to her face. She was shaking like crazy.

"Nic, what are you talkin' 'bout? I got rid of the body, nobody knows where we are and Imma clean up the mess at yours tomorrow, kay?" He furrowed his brow and moved closer to her when she started shaking her head no.

"Safaree went 'round to my place this mornin'. The door was open and he went in-"

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit." He threw his hands up and rested them on top of his head as he started to pace around too. "Don't tell me, he called the cops didn't he?"

"Drake, the fuck was he 'sposed to do?! He thought I'd been murdered or some shit like that!"

"Wait, you didn't tell him where you were did you? Or who you were with?" Nicki's lip quivered as she shook her head no. "Good, that's good." He nodded to himself and she could see the obvious thoughts running through his mind.

"So now what are we gonna do?" Hearing her sad, scared, little voice he stopped what his was doing and moved over to her.

"You're gon' stay here with Jacob and Imma go meet Lee. He can fix us up with somewhere to stay for a bit-"

"What about Jacob? We can't just take him along with us! We haven't got any of his stuff or whatever! That's like kidnapping isn't it?!"

"Look, I'll sort it. All you have to do is stay here with him, kay?" He pulled her over to him by her hands.

"How long are you gonna be?" 

"Not long, I promise."

"Wait, you're goin' now?" She pulled away from him quickly. "You can't just leave me here!"

"Nicki." Gently grabbing her shoulders he made her look at him. Her face was full of worry. "I'll be an hour at the most and as soon as I'm done Imma be back here with you, I swear." She sighed in defeat as he guided her over to the bed. "You should try and get some sleep whilst I'm gone. Might make it go by quicker too." Kissing her forehead he sat her down and pulled her shoes off before letting her settle under the blankets. Jacob didn't stir once on the other side of the bed. She lay still watching him dry off and throw his clothes back on before he drew the curtains, blocking the moonlight out as he grabbed his keys again. "I'll be back soon. Don't answer-"

"The door or my phone unless I know it's you. I got it Aubrey." Bowing his head he set the door to lock before pulling it shut behind himself, leaving Nicki to lay alone with Jacob silently in the dark with only the faint sound of traffic filling her ears.

*** Back At The Station, 10pm ***

"So you're saying this guy was wired and helped the suspect to dispose of the body?" The male officer bugged his eyes at his female partner.

"Yes sir, the victim was Aubrey Graham's father. The guy who was wearin' the wire was an old friend of his. Looks like Mr Graham didn't quite think through who he was relying on huh?"

"Looks like it. Well, we best go see what this...." He looked back at his notes again. "....A.J. has to say for himself." Stepping out of the vehicle they both made their way inside.

*Ugh I hate this, I'm really sorry! BUT next chapters from hereon should be a bit better cuz by Monday all my assignments will be DONE!! ^_^ Haha thanks for all ur comments guys, hope this is okayish, I know it's not much but hopefully enough to hold out 'til next week :))*

8. Gettin' Messy (Part Two of 'Gone') *Sneak Peak*

*Kay so I know I didn't ask what y'all wanted updating but I'm doing a lil' sneak peek for this one cuz I did a kyna biggish chapter for HIA tonight :)*

She continued to cling on to his big build as he walked them over to the bed, placing her down carefully so as not to wake a sleeping Jacob.

"You ok?" He held her shoulders firmly and looked between her face and Jacob's little body sprawled out under the sheets.

"Well, for everythin' that's happened I guess so." She looked down as he took a seat next to her, allowing their shoulders to rub against one another still. "Did you sort stuff out?"

"Yeah. We just gon' be here for one night, I promise." He took her hand in his and kissed her.

"Promise? 'Cause I need to see Candi. I wanna know she's ok." Her eyes trailed over Jacob's little frame. He needed his Mom more than anything.

"I promise. We're goin' back to your place first thing. I need to clean everythin' up." Rubbing his hands over his face he sighed and lay back gently. Following his movement she settled next to him, facing his body as she trailed her hands over his bruised face. They lay still for a few long minutes with her continuing her actions as he enjoyed the calm feeling she was giving him at that moment, but she quietly broke the silence after a while.

"Can I still not answer my calls? Safaree's been ringin' non stop." Her hand stayed resting gently on his face as he turned slowly to look at her, he looked drained, tired and empty.

"Mmm I guess it's alright...We have to act normal." She nodded in understanding and stood up to go get her phone, as she guessed he was ringing again. Persistent or what? Clicking to answer the call she held the phone to her ear, watching Drake move past her and shut the bathroom door behind him. The shower starting up made her feel more comfortable about talking.

"What do you want Safaree?" Hearing her tired, whisper made his heart relax in utter relief.

"The fuck Nicki?! Why you been ignorin' all my calls? I been ringin' you all day?" Pulling the phone away slightly she winced at the pounding headache she was experiencing.

"Can you please stop screamin'? Why you been callin' me like there's no tomorrow?"

"I been over here shittin' bricks! I went 'round to your place this mornin', nobody was there but you left your door open. There was blood everywhere, I thought that boss of yours had..." He trailed off and sighed loudly. "I thought you were dead." It didn't matter about what he was saying, in fact she wasn't even listening. Her heart was beating so fast she could hardly hear anything else. "Nicki? Nicki you still there?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah I'm...I'm still here." Chewing on her bottom lip nervously she readied herself to ask him a question. "So what's goin' on right now? Where you at?"

"I called the cops first, they all over your place...What the fuck even happened Nic? You alright?"

"Wait, there are cops? All over my apartment?" She started pacing as the panic began to kick in.

"Nic, the hell did you want me to do? Shrug it off? I thought you'd been killed, you understand how much I been worryin' 'bout you? Where are you? And who are you with?"

"No. You did the right thing....And yeah I'm fine, just a lil' overwhelmed right now." She paused shakily, urging herself to end the call. "I have to go, I'll call you later." She heard him yelling for her not to hang up but she had to. She continued to pace and chew at her fingers nervously waiting for Drake to finish showering....

* Just a sneak peek but I hope it was ok :/ Thanku all so much for the comments on chap. 7 ^___^ Sorry for any typos and what do you want updating next week? I was gonna do CAHM but I have an inkling some of you are gonna say CM? ^_^ Anyways it's totally up to you guys HOWEVER I might do FY next cuz I'm axing that one, so if I do that one then it's all over and outta the way, unless I'm doing a continuation? I need to check the comments again but I think I saw someone or maybe 2 ppl wanted a continuation, anyway I'll think about it :)*

Which blog am I posting on this week?

Kay, I have a time slot for writing a chapter on Thursday night soooo which blog would you like updating CM, WTWC, CAHM, HIA or FY? ^__^ Or if it's easier you can just DM me on twitter :))
It's Barbie Biiiitch! :*

7. Gone - Part One

*Kay, so a lot of readers are requesting this fic be updated and CM so Imma try to do both tonight before I go out. ^--^. This chapter is a little segmented cause it's following more characters right now. More drama is about to happen though :o And Onikafaree fans do not fear, this blog isn't converting to Dricki, I promise. ALSO I thought that me writing fics would hinder my working ability but I just got another major assignment back and managed to get another distinction! I'm so relieved! Anywho, enjoy!*

The crunching and splintering lasted a few seconds as she stood, frozen to the spot. She was about to step forward when Drake appeared at the doorway with his finger to his lips, signalling for her to be quiet.

"Stay here." She was about to open her mouth but hearing heavy footsteps making their way up the stairs she panicked. "Quick, take Jacob...And, just...Hide in the closet or somethin'." The last part of his sentence was almost inaudible as his whispering got quieter and quieter with each word being uttered. Doing exactly what he said she silently opened Jacob's closet door and shut herself inside, trying to soothe him at the same time as she sat herself down. There was dead silence for a few minutes, she was just praying that he hadn't gone downstairs.

"Where the fuck she at?! No good little whore!" That voice, she knew all too well. It was Junior.

"Look, she's not here." What followed made her jump as she heard a loud scuffle before he started talking again, only more exasperated. "I swear on Mom's grave." That cut straight to her heart. She knew how much his Mother meant to him and therefore how much she meant to him for saying that.

"Ion believe you! The fuck you doin' here if she ain't about, huh?!" Everything that was happening was almost being drowned out by her heavy, rapid breathing and Jacob was obviously picking up on the strange atmosphere as he started to fuss in her arms.

"Shh, baby please be quiet." He muted as soon as she started rocking him a little, thanking God that he was usually a quiet kid.

"Y'know? When I heard that you were fuckin' around with one of these hoes, I said No, no Aubrey wouldn't do that. He's better than that. We employ these sluts to fuck the clients. THAT'S IT! And here you are stickin' your God damn dick in one yourself!" She cringed at every word being said as she clamped her hands over her ears trying to muffle the sound of his voice. This was all her fault. If she'd just stayed away and done her job then none of this would be happening, Candi would be ok, Drake would be ok and she wouldn't be sat here wondering whether or not her life was about to end.

"So, speak up. Where is she?" He let go of Drake's neck as he moved across the hall to check her room. "So this where you fuck the bitch?" Drake shut his eyes and let his head drop as he tried to regain his breath. Hoping his father didn't move to Jacob's room. "Fucking low life. I'm ashamed to call you my fucking son Aubrey!" His footsteps got closer as he entered Jacob's room.

"Look, I already told you she isn't here! She took Candi's kid and went to a Motel." Nicki could tell his voice was holding fear as Junior charged back over to him. What she heard next was pure torture. There was a loud gunshot before his body could be hear tumbling down the stairs with speed before a few more shots were fired. Jacob immediately started screaming at the loud noise as she too started crying out hysterically. She didn't care if he found her anymore but she had to get Jacob out. The adrenaline started to kick in, preparing to make a run for it as his footsteps marched over to the closet, ripping the door open with force. But it wasn't Junior.

"Nicki, get up. We have to leave. NOW!" He grabbed her hand and yanked her up, she was still crying as she cradled Candi's inconsolable child. Looking over Drake's body there were blood splatters all over his top and his face was bleeding again. "We can't stop here, or my place. We'll go to a motel, take Jacob with us." He pulled a duffle out of the closet she was just in. "Pack as many clothes that'll fit, yours and his." she stood still, partially in shock that he was still alive. "Now Nicki!" She jumped before setting Jacob in his crib whilst she did what he said. "I'm gon' go make a few calls. DON'T move from here and stay put, kay?" He was now knelt at her level, holding each side of her still shuddering shoulders.

"W-what the fuck have you d-done to him?" She tried to look out into the hallway but he blocked her vision.

"It was self defence."

"Yeah but you've fucking killed somebody Aubrey! You're gonna get sent down for murder! Then what the fuck am I 'sposed to do?!"

"Just, calm down-"

"Calm down?! You're fucking tellin' me to calm down?!"

"NICKI!" He shook her hard making her tears come loose. "We don't have time for this! Once we're out of here and at the motel we'll talk. I'll sort everything. Now, please just do what I asked you to." He kissed her forehead and left her to it as he made his way back downstairs in a hurry.

***

The motel was dark, cold and gloomy. She just wanted to go home. To make matters worse, Drake had dragged her there, got her and Jacob settled and then left to go 'Sort things out' whatever the fuck that meant. She was left with strict instructions not to call anyone or answer her cell unless it was Drake or Lee, his friend. The only person who had called though was Safaree. It was killing her not being able to answer, and the fact that he wasn't giving up was making it more unbearable.

***

"Come on Nicki. Pick up your damn phone." Safaree was growing more and more worried after the 11th time calling and still no answer.

"Safaree, we're about to head off. Stefani has her dress fitting today,  so we'll see you when we get home." She smiled sweetly and moved out of the room to let him and Stef talk quickly.

"Safaree I swear if you're on your fucking cell tryin' to call her again-"

"I'm not, I'm not." he leant down to kiss her, even though she was angry she still accepted. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, love you." she turned and walked away, counting down the seconds until he said it back. But he didn't. As soon as the front door slammed shut he waited to hear the engine start and grabbed his jacket. If she wasn't answering his calls he'd just have to pay her a visit in person. He was in such deep thought on the drive there he hardly noticed he'd arrived. He scanned over the windows as he pulled up and  hopped out of the car. The curtains were drawn and the house looked pretty empty. Heading towards the front door he knocked twice and waited for a response. Nothing. Just out of curiosity he tried the door handle, not expecting it to open but to his surprise it did. He stepped in slowly before calling her name.

"Nic? Nicki you in here?" With no response he figured not but the sight he was greeted with made him feel instantly nauseous. There was blood stains marking almost every step on the stairs, the hallway floor was smeared with it and the walls were also decorated with blood splatters. "What he fuck?!" He lifted his feet tenaciously, noticing he had indeed stepped in a puddle of it. Immediately images and scenarios started running through his mind. What if Drake had done this to her? He shouldn't have left, especially with him like that. Feeling his heart racing he had no idea what to do, who to call or where to go. He shakily pulled out his phone and did the right thing. He called the police.

*** (A few Hours Earlier) ***

"So you can get rid of it?"

"I mean, yeah but this is serious Drake. You killed your fucking father. Junior, like, he's not just anybody." A.J. rubbed his chin, "I can do it though, but I need your help. No one else can know, it's just me and you right?"

"No, Nicki knows. She was here when it happened." He sat on Nicki's couch as Lee moved back into the lounge room from where Junior's body lay. "She won't say anythin' though."

"Aight, as long as she keeps her mouth shut and we know we will, then everythin' should go smoothly."

'Thanks man. I owe you, big time."

They did what needed to be done, dumping Junior's wrapped up body off of the loading docks at 2am, A.J. knew the right time and place. His father had shown him all the ropes back when he lived on Staten Island. He looked at Drake who was rubbing his palms together nervously, his breath hitting the air and forming a white cloud.

"Hey, don't sweat it. Act normal, go back to Nicki and stay there for a while. His body bag is packed with weights, he should be poppin' up anytime soon." He hit his arm reassuringly before jumping back in his car and driving off like what they just did was nothing. The journey back to the Motel was tedious, he couldn't believe everything that had happened. Only days ago he had plans to take Nicki away, as his own and live somewhere with more opportunities. But now, he was going to be jumping at every sound thinking the police were behind him. He'd killed his own father and practically taken his hooker girlfriend hostage along with a two year old who belonged to neither of them. Suddenly realising that he was already back at the Motel he pulled up and stepped out of the car before walking to room 39. He had a special knock that he did to let her know it was him and she opened within seconds, jumping onto him with relief. Carefully stepping inside with her still latched on to his body he shut and locked the door behind him. Having absolutely no clue what was in store for them.

*Oh kaaay I think it's liiiittle far fetched but wutevs, it's fan fiction and I'm the writer ^_^ Sorry if it's a little short, but I'll make up for it next chapter :) Thanks SO much for all the comments I've been receiving on here! I'm so shocked! Well I updated this one because people were asking, and others were also asking for CM so I'll do that one too. As for FY and CAHM I'll do them soon-ish ^_^ I don't think too many readers are bothered about FY but I know I got some ppl asking about CAHM so I'll focus more on that one :) Well hope that was kay for everyone and sorry for any typos :o*

6. Lost And Found

*Kay so here's where this fic is gon' be a tad different, you'll soon see ^__^ I know some of you are getting impatient with the time I'm taking to get the Onikafaree-ness going but keep your wigs on, it's coming XD Pauz on coming though...Anywhooslebees Thanku for all the comments ^_^ Made me smile and they always make me laugh too XD OH and here is the link for @Rayebaby92TM 's blog, starting soon so go follow! >> http://actionspeaklouderthanwordsonikafaree.blogspot.com.au/ Hope this is kay for you all and @SoftLykeButta I updated Catch Me too ^_^ I'm glad you like it, thx :* Haha*

She scrambled around picking up her garments, some of which were unfortunately still in the hallway. Grabbing some of his clothes too she threw them his way.

"Hurry up and get dressed."

"Nic, I'm not one of them dudes you fuck for a couple hundred bucks and then just leave." She turned to look at him sourly.

"I know, but we shouldn't have done this. Like I said, it was a mistake." He studied her facial expression as she talked, catching her eyes briefly. She was lying.

"Why did you do it then?" He sat up and began dressing as she quietly opened the door to grab her shirt from the floor.

"Look, can we just talk 'bout this later please?" She threw her hair into a messy bun and slid her pants back on as the knocking became more urgent and impatient. "Ugh, can't they freaking wait five seconds?" She swung the door open and ran down the stairs as Safaree put his clothes back on. He listened from her bedroom, it was a man's voice he could hear as she let whoever it was inside. Maybe Drake. He didn't know whether it would look weird for him to go down the stairs, he might suspect something. So he smartly flushed the toilet first.

"Somebody upstairs?" She turned around to look at his blood stained face as he sat down.

"What? Oh right, yeah Safaree came over to talk. He's just usin' the bathroom." She said it hurriedly as she tried to read his expression setting his water down on the table. "Aubrey, what's happened?" She asked worriedly looking at the mess somebody had made of his face and the blood on his hands.

He sighed and shook his head. "Candi's in the hospital." He rubbed his hand carefully over his face and felt bad as she got quiet and continued trying to get a bowl of warm water and a cloth.

"Oh my God! Why? She's gon' be ok right? And are you alright?" Sitting back down again she started to dab at his wounded face. It looked like it was stinging.

"Ion know, we looked everywhere for her and I had someone check all the hospitals and they eventually tracked her down. It doesn't look too good though." He placed his hand tenderly over hers on his face as Safaree watched from the doorway. "And I'm fine, I just-"

"So you found her yet?" He walked in like he lived there making Nicki glare at him. She felt Drake's body become more tense as she stood up swiftly, giving Safaree that "You have to leave" look.

"Uhm hold on babe, I'll just show Faree out." Shook took his arm and led him to the front door.

"The fuck Nicki? We need to talk 'bout this!" He whispered loudly and angrily as his brow deepened, she let go of him when they reached the front step.

"Safaree there is nothing to talk about, we should never have done what we just did. Please just go, I'll call you lat-" He waved his hand at her dismissively.

"Don't fuckin' bother Nicki, I'm outta here." As he turned and walked away she felt her heart sink. Now she didn't know who or what she wanted, honestly spending the day with Safaree made all those feelings flood back but he was engaged to someone else. Then on the other hand Drake had never left her side, but he wasn't exactly offering her the great life she dreamed of. Hearing him calling for her she shut the door and tried to blink the tears away before heading back to him.

"Here." She pushed him gently back down into the chair and continued to clean up his face. "Did he do this to you?" He sighed heavily and didn't answer. "Aubrey?"

"Yes Nicki, Ion know why that was vital to know but yes he did!" She moved her head back as he looked up at her apologetically. "Sorry I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, but Ion see why you still associate yourself with him though. He's an ass." She dipped the cloth in the water before proceeding to wipe over his cuts again.

"He's my father Nic, my boss. Your boss! If I go I ain't leavin' you behind. He's rippin' 'bout this whole mess with Candi-." Nicki interrupted him and stopped what she was doing before sitting on his lap carefully.

"Wait, he don't know anythin' 'bout you and me though, right?" He sighed again, letting her know that he did. "Shit." She threw the bloody cloth down and ran her hands over her face.

"But I wasn't done explainin'." He paused and folded his lips.

"What? Aubrey just tell me?" She was getting worried as he groaned frustratedly.

"Can's in the hospital 'causa him. He heard from someone that I was sleepin' with one of y'all and flew off the handle, then got your address. He obviously thought I was with Candi, beat her ass and then mine." He trailed off noticing the tears starting to form in her eyes, she hardly ever cried which made him act without thinking. Pulling her into his arms, his loving actions caused her to cry even more. "Hey, come on now, I know what you thinkin', and you can't think like that. It ain't your fault. If anythin' it's my doin'. We can't go see Candi yet, they said she can have visitors in a couple days time, kay?" He continued to try and soothe her until she was completely silent about an hour later. She was asleep. He carried her upstairs as best he could considering his battered and aching body. His Dad may have been relatively old but that didn't stop him from being an angry, aggressive asshole. "Junior" was his name, not his real one of course but that's who he was known as in this business. He wouldn't have hesitated for a second to do all that damage to Candi himself, he never struggled to lay a hand on a woman. Not even his own wife. From a young age Drake was exposed to this type of environment but would never dream of hitting a woman, ever. He looked at Nicki's tiny frame in his arms. He really did love her, he'd never had this feeling before. She shifted slightly as he kicked her bedroom door open before laying her gently in her bed. He checked on a sleeping Jacob before making his way back into Nicki's room and laying with her.

***

How could she just drop her panties for him and then act like nothing had happened. Like he was nothing. Maybe all the years living like she did had made that a normal thing? He couldn't even think about it as he pulled into his Mom's driveway, knowing Stef was going to flip out and start screaming at him for not coming home until 11pm. He sighed and stayed stationary for a moment or two before making his way inside.

'The fuck have you been?!" Surely enough she was stood right near the front door waiting like a damn hawk.

"Stef please? Not now." He tried to get past her but she slapped his chest hard.

"No Safaree. NOW." She crossed her arms and started tapping her foot. This is what he hated about her, the jealousy, it was such a turn off to him. But this time she had reason, she didn't know it but he did and it was eating away at him. She scoffed when he still didn't answer and stormed upstairs, slamming the door thoughtlessly behind her. Obviously waking up Mama Samuels. He'd already taken a seat on the lounge room couch by the time she got to him.

"Safaree?"

'I'm over here Mom." He stood up to greet her.

"What's happened now? She isn't half dramatic y'know?" She shook her head and sat next to him.

"Nothing Mom. Really. She's just mad 'cause I came home later than she wanted."

"Well, you were gone a while.Where were you? We were waiting for ages."

"I went to see Nicki." He leant forward and rested his head in his hands.

"And? How'd it go?" He really, really didn't want to be discussing this right now, especially not with his Mother.

"It was..Fine. We just left things on a bit of a sour note though."

"I'm sure you'll sort things out." She rubbed his arm reassuringly. "So, how is little Onika doing? We don't see much of her anymore and Carol never mentions her." She scrunched up her brow only just realising how strange that was.

"Yeah she's good, she moved out a while ago. She doesn't speak to her parents anymore." He saw her mouth drop out of the corner of his eye.

"Why not?" She tilted her head a little as he shifted uncomfortably.

"Mom I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'm tired I think I'm gon' head to bed." He attempted to stand but her small hand stopped him.

"Safaree."

"Mom." She let go of him after he mocked her causing him to apologise and continue up to bed, only to be kicked out and face sleeping on the couch after his Mom had returned to her room. Thoughts of Nicki kept running through his mind and everything she'd had to cope with after he'd left her. What they just did in her bed only hours ago. The same bed she and Drake were probably sharing right now. He snarled slightly just thinking about it. Maybe this was how she felt seeing him with his Girlfriend all those years ago, whilst he just messed around with her on the quiet. He felt so awful and wished he could just erase everything that had happened, but he couldn't. What was done, was done. He'd just have to work out what he really wanted, or more like who he really wanted and fast.

***

The next morning Nicki woke up to the sound of Jacob crying in his room, as she became more aware of her surroundings she felt Drake's strong arms wrapped around her. Making her feel safe, but all the time she still had Safaree stuck at the back of he mind. She needed to speak to him.

"You want me to go get him?" He sounded groggy as she turned to face him, his face was less bloody but more bruised now. She ran her hands over the marks carefully. She felt horrible, his and Candi's injuries were all down to her relationship with him.

"No, no I'll go." She whispered and kissed him lightly. "I'm sorry." He grabbed her hand.

"And I've already told you, you don't need to be sorry." She smiled as best she could before going to get Jacob. She wanted to go see Candi but preparing herself mentally and emotionally was going to be hard. What if she didn't wake up? Drake had explained what the doctors had told him and it wasn't promising. She'd sustained serious head and chest injuries, was on a ventilator and put into an induced sleep to increase recovery time, but now there was the risk of her never waking up. As she picked him out of his crib he stopped crying and held on to her, she just hoped Candi would recover for his sake too. She's all he has, nobody apart from Candi herself knew who the father was but he had nothing to do with his son. Just as she was about to leave his bedroom there was a loud noise from downstairs, which sounded a lot like wood splintering and the smashing of glass...

*Ugh Ion like this chapter at all and sorry it's only mini XD Hope this was ok-ish for everyone and Im SO sorry it's a little rushed :// Night! And thx again for all the comments last chapter ^_^*

5. Laying It All On The Table (Full Chapter)

*Barbz, barbz, barbzzzz! Kay so something great happened today! I can finally relax and write without worrying! For the last week or so I've been panicking about a psychology paper that was being graded and we were told that this particular assignment had a really high fail rate so I was freaking out like crazy BUT I got it back today and I managed to get a Distinction which is, like, the second highest mark you can receive! ^__________^ I'm so relieved *sighs* Anywaaay back to the chapterrr, enjoy :o) ALSO if you haven't already, go follow @Rayebaby92TM 's  Onikafaree blog she's hopefully starting soon I cannot wait!! >>>  http://actionspeaklouderthanwordsonikafaree.blogspot.com.au/  *

She woke up feeling a draft hitting her naked body, as her eyes opened she looked over herself lazily noticing that she was completely exposed and Drake was laying on his side admiring her.

"Oh, you're awake then?" He removed the hair from her face as she looked at him blankly.

"Mmm, time is it?" She half yawned as she stretched her arms up.

"Almost 9am, you gotta be somewhere?"

"Shit." She sighed loudly. "Yeah I need to get back, could you give me ride?" She sat up and looked at his eyes which were fixed on her chest. "Aubrey?"

"Sorry." He smiled that smile of his. "Yeah I can give you a lift, time do you need to be back?" He sat up as well grabbing her waist and pulling her to him.

"Like, now. Please?" She changed their position as she pushed his back up to the headboard, straddling him in the process.

"Oh?" He locked eyes with her and she mimicked him in return.

"Yeah, oh. But really, I have to go. Come on." She dismounted him and walked casually into his bathroom proceeding to wash her face, brush her teeth and relieve herself as Drake threw on a pair of sweats and made his way downstairs to make breakfast. Once she was finished she raided his closet for something clean to wear until she got home.

"Nicki, we need to talk." She looked up from her plate of toast as he sat down opposite her.

"Yeah? 'Bout what?"

"This, us." She stopped eating and looked at him again before putting her toast back on the plate.

"Look Ion know what's goin' on right now. I like you, a lot but you're my boss. It's weird."

"Well that's another thing, Ion want you livin' like this anymore." She squinted at him.

"Uhm, you're the one who got me here in the first place."

"Yeah, I know that but I didn't know you then....Not like I know you now anyway..." He trailed off and looked away as he smoothed his hand over his stubbly chin. Standing up she walked over to his chair and rested in between his parted legs.

"What's so different now?" She whispered as she draped her arms around his neck, she knew what the answer was but she just needed to hear him say it.

"Don't play Nic, you know." She was loving how shy and childish he was looking right now, it was adorable to her.

"But you haven't said whatever it is that I'm supposed to know. So how do you know that I know?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"I really like you Onika, a lot." He ran his hands up and down her smooth arms as she continued to stare into his face.

"Well sir, I like you too." She smiled, displaying her dimples and her perfectly white teeth. She even looked beautiful to him without all the makeup on her face. He kissed her and pulled her closer before tapping her butt.

"Come on, I'll take you home."

***

She let herself inside dreading the explanation she was going to have to give Candi when she walked in. Luckily she didn't see any of her belongings dumped in the hallway like usual so she figured she was out. She frowned as she looked up the small set of stairs they had, she could hear Jacob crying. why would Candi not be here when her child was? Without even thinking she ran up the stairs whilst shouting for her but there was no answer, walking into his room she saw him screaming in his crib, he was stood up holding on to the railings.

"Hey baby, c'mere." She picked him up quickly and checked all the rooms, she was nowhere to be found. Pulling her phone out she called her, five times with no answer for any try. "Shit." She jogged back downstairs with Jacob on her hip as she called Drake, he answered immediately.

"Can't stay away huh?"

"Aubrey I can't find Candi." He stopped joking around hearing how panicked she sounded.

"Well, maybe she just went out with Jacob?"

"No, no he was here by himself. Did she reply to you last night?" She was rushing around in the kitchen trying to get him something to eat, who knows how long he'd been alone.

"Uhm...No she didn't, hold on. I'll call you back." She could hear the concern in his voice and started to  worry. She managed to get Jacob something to eat, he ate it fast and soon stopped crying after she bathed him and changed him. She didn't know what else to do. Looking at the time she threw her head back in frustration realising that Safaree would be here any minute. She thought too soon as she heard a loud knock on the door. She kept hold of Jacob as she went to let him in.

"Come in." He didn't say anything as she seemed pretty pissed. "You can go through, I'm just gon' go put him down." She'd noticed his eyes getting heavy and figured he was tired from all the crying.

As soon as she returned she sat on the opposite couch, not looking his way. Frankly she was beyond concerned about their little argument right now.

"Umm, everything ok?" He rubbed his legs anxiously as he waited for her to answer.

"Yeah. Fine."

"Right."

"Ugh, what!? Why you sayin' it like that?" He just stared at her with his mouth open.

"How the fuck you actin' like this when I just found out you're a fucking hooker Nicki?!" He stood up as did she.

"Look I can't deal with this right now-" He cut her off.

"YOU can't deal with this?! How the fuck do you think I'm feelin'?!" Before she could answer him, her phone vibrated as a new message came through. 

Quickly grabbing her phone she read the text from Drake, he'd only just been told that Candi was called out last night and obviously she hadn't returned. Having no time or patience to text back she called him and asked him to come over as a frustrated Safaree sat wondering what the hell was happening.

"Look, maybe we should do this another time? I got some shit to deal with right now, why don't you just go eat lunch at your Mom's or something?" She pushed past him and went back into the kitchen but he followed her.

"Nah, we said we were gon' talk 'bout all this and that's what we gon' do." He pulled a chair out and took a seat as she turned angrily to face him.

"What is there to explain SB?! So I'm a hooker, I had get money somehow!"

"And sellin' yourself was the only option? Ion believe that." She slammed Jacob's empty bowl into the sink as her temper began to flare again, realising that getting riled was definitely not going to help any she took a deep breath and sat down at the table with him.

"You don't a have a clue what I went through after you went chasin' that hoe." He sighed, taking his cap off to rub his head.

"Nic, I ain't go "Chasin'" no hoe. She was my girlfriend."

"So what was I? Your little bit on the side?"

"No, well yeah but I didn't think of you just as that! You were my friend too." He tried to reach out for her hand but she moved away instantly.

"Yeah, course I was. Friends with benefits huh?" She folded her lips in attempt to force the tears back and she was successful. "Look, I think you should go, your Mom and Stefani are prolly waitin' on you and I got things to do." she stood up and hiked Drake's sweats up some more as they were evidently way too big for her.

"No."

"Whatever, stay then, but I'm goin'." She walked back out of the kitchen and into the lounge room waiting for Drake but to her disappointment she got another text telling her that he couldn't come over anymore and he was heading over to the address Candi was supposedly at last night. Safaree read the text over her shoulder before she threw her phone down as she huffed.

"So, now we can talk." He sat back down again on a separate couch.

"Ion know what else you want me to say? You went runnin' after your "Girlfriend", left me, I got kicked out and became a prostitute. The end."

"Would you just stop actin' so fucking bitter and childish?! I'm sorry! How many fucking times do you want me to say that?! Letter after letter I repeatedly told you that but I ain't even get one damn reply!" He saw her face twist up grumpily.

"Letters? You didn't send me any fucking letters!" As she finished her sentence her face dropped realising that any letters he sent would have gone to her parents house. She hadn't been back or had contact with either of them for those four years. "Wait, you sent them to my house?"

"Where else would they be mailed to? That's where you lived." He'd calmed down a little noticing that her voice had become softer also.

"I moved out after you left, I didn't get any of them." She looked down slightly embarrassed that all this time she'd felt this anger towards him for not keeping in touch when he had been doing so all along. But that didn't change the fact that he just left her for this other girl he was dating, his "Girlfriend".

"Look, I'm sorry I left you the way I did, I really am and I did love you." She could feel a 'but' coming along and helped him out a little.

"But I was too young for you." He nodded sadly. "I get that, I mean I was fifteen and you were twenty but what you did to me was cruel Safaree and I can't just dust that under the carpet." He looked at her solemnly he knew how horrible it must have felt for her but he couldn't deal with age difference it felt so wrong to him, hence the reason he only had sex with her once. Unbeknownst to him she'd got pregnant after that one time. Her first time.

"I know, but it was just too much Nic. I shouldn't have let it get as far is it did, you were way too young." He looked up and their eyes met, he saw how tearful she looked and moved to sit next to her. She didn't move as she started to speak again.

"I thought it was 'cause you weren't gettin' any so I said I was ready and then...." He quickly pulled her too him feeling even worse than before. How could he have not known that she wasn't ready? 

"No, I don't think like that. Not like the guys you're dealin' with now." They stayed silent for a bit as he kept her wrapped in his arms. "How'd things get so bad?"

"Everythin' went to shit after you left." Safaree stayed quiet, he couldn't believe she wasn't crying it was like she'd blocked off every emotion except anger. "I was pregnant." He stopped breathing as soon as she went quiet again.

"What?" Pulling away from her he stood up and smoothed his hands over his shaven head. "No, no, no I don't believe this." He laughed but without showing any humour. "So you're tellin' me that you were pregnant with my kid? And you didn't tell me?" He remained on his feet as he looked down at her.

"Yeah. My Mom and Dad found out and forced me to get rid of it. Then kicked me out." Again getting angry at her inability to show any emotion he kicked the waste paper basket across the room making her flinch slightly. "I didn't know either, until after you left." She spat with attitude as he tried to control his temper. He sighed loudly and took a few deep breaths.

"Damn Nicki, the hell happened to us?" He asked calmly as he sat back down again. She was tired of all the fighting and arguing but she couldn't forgive him so easily for the way he treated her.

***

Hours passed and Nicki explained everything to Safaree, from dropping out of school, being kicked out and her traumatic trip to the clinic. It wouldn't be right if they talked all of this over without yelling, screaming or crying and that's exactly how it went. She finally broke down about the whole mess and he comforted her then he would mention something which infuriated her and she'd start yelling again. Their conversation was long and tiring but ultimately it seemed as though they covered everything and their differences were resolved. Nicki was now getting restless thinking about Candi, as Drake still hadn't got back to her.

"So what time was she supposed to get back?" Safaree asked as he placed the almost empty pizza box on the coffee table.

"Like, last night as soon as she was finished...Y'know?...." She trailed off when she saw him shifting uncomfortably, the whole Hooker thing still wasn't sitting well with him but being as proud as she was she refused to take any money. Even though he'd offered four times already, knowing how stubborn she was he gave up.

"And this boss of yours..." He stopped as he tried to think of his name.

"Drake?"

"Yeah, him. Is he over there now?" She sighed and looked at Jacob who was sat next to her on the couch with his bottle.

"Ion know, he's not answerin' my calls." She checked her phone and still there was no news. "Shouldn't you be gettin' back it's almost 6pm. You were supposed to be at your Mom's for lunch!" She laughed a little, he hadn't told her but he'd called his Mom already and told her he had something important, wedding related to deal with.

"Nah, they won't be missin' me." He paused and pulled his collar up a little and smiled smugly. "Not too much anyways." She giggled some more at his goofiness, that's what she missed about him. That and everything else. He saw her face turn sad again. "She'll be ok y'know?"

"I hope so, you don't know what could've happened to her." She let her eyes wander back to the dark window. It looked cold outside. "Well, I'm gon' go get him ready for bed. I'll be down in a minute." She carefully picked up a sleepy Jacob and headed upstairs with him, Safaree waited for a few seconds before following her up. Watching her from the doorway of his little bedroom he smiled at how good she was with him, forcing him to wonder what it would have been like if he never left. Would this be them with their child? Or would she have had an abortion still? He shook his head thinking about what might have happened if he hadn't left her all those years ago, his son or daughter could have be with them right now. He looked up sheepishly realising that Nicki had caught him as she made her way back out of the room, turning his light off and shutting the door a little behind her.

"You're really good with him." She smiled shyly and looked down before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

"He's a sweet kid." She smiled innocently which made him smile in response. Slowly he raised his hand to her chin and leaned down, hovering in front of her lips for a moment he let her move in first, which she didn't hesitate to do. She grazed his lips softly with her own before he turned it into something a little more passionate, pushing her gently against the wall he deepened the kiss and grabbed her waist. "Mmm...Safaree...we...can't..." She murmured between kisses. The words however held no meaning as he ignored her and continued with what he was doing. Picking her up by her waist and holding her against the wall, she wrapped her legs around him as things got more and more heated. The urgency became too intense to stop now, leaving a trail of clothes behind them as they made their way into her room and shut the door behind them.

***

"This was a mistake." He turned to look at her laying naked next to him, only the orange tinged street lamp outside her window was allowing things to be visible.

"I don't think it was."

"Faree, you're engaged, to another woman. This is so wrong."

"You do it all the time with them other married niggas" She sighed and looked over at him.

"That's different though."

"How?" He wasn't getting angry he just wanted to know how she was seeing things at this moment. The way she was screaming his name only an hour ago let him know that she obviously still had feelings for him, strong ones at that.

"It just...Is, I don't know why." She turned over properly on to her side, not caring that she had nothing covering her.

"I need to tell you somethin' Nic, but I need to know that you feel the same way?" He saw her close her eyes slowly, she knew what was coming.

"Faree please, don't?" She attempted to get up but he gently took hold of her wrist.

"Just hear me out?" He looked at her pleadingly as she resumed her position laying on her side.

Interrupting his moment of truth a loud  knocking sound came from the front door making Nicki immediately jump up and start throwing her clothes on.

...

* Kay kids, there you go! Y'all happy now that Nic and Safaree made up? >__< well thank you soooo much for all the comments on the sneak peek!!!! I died though, I got more for the sneak peak on this newest blog than actual chapters on my other two XD Guess this one is the favourite for now? haha I'm bouta go update HIA too although I don't think I got the requested comment number but Imma ignore that cuz Im off uni right now. I'm still unsure about whether or not I should even continue with that one BUT it has the most followers, so Im well confuuused AND I am about to post on my NEW blog if anyone is interested, it's called "Catch Me (Onikafaree)" and it's already up as a link on my profile but Imma update HIA first. The new one will be updated just like my other four only the chapters will be smaller. ^_^ :// Sorry for any typos and hope this was kay for you all, enjoyy :))*